The Adventures of the Bro (A Pewdiepie Fanfiction)
by naomisnews
Summary: An internet gamer, with many friends and animals, journeys to not only find the woman he loves, but also to find himself. Starring Felix Kjellberg as the protagonist, Pewdiepie, and other mysterious collaborators. WARNING: this story contains author's commentary throughout, so be advised that, if you find it annoying, then you might not get why it's labeled under humor.


Pewdiepie fanfiction (featuring others)

Once upon a time, in the far away land of…(err, hang on, let's see here, what name hasn't been already taken…err…ok, we'll use this) Maccaplocca, (yes, that'll do), there lived a simple pig herder named Felix, or as many called him mockingly, Pewdiepie. The one called Pewdiepie had two pigs called (hang on, my laptop went weird, it's meant to be PUGS, not pigs. Let's try again.) Pewdiepie, the PUG herder had two pugs named Edgar Allan Pug, and Maya Puga-Chan. Maya Puga-Chan had a special power, for if any mere mortal were to look into the eye, which was covered by an eye patch, they would surely perish. Felix was stupidly in love with the princess Marzia, daughter to King Ken, and Queen Mary. Marzia, sadly, was the least-loved daughter by the King and Queen, for they loved their other two daughters, Betty and Jackie, even though she is the eldest daughter, and heir to the throne. Distraught by her parents ignoring her, she spent many a day in her bedroom in a tower on the east side of the castle, drawing little cartoons and designs for new fashions, and writing letters to Felix. She returned his love, but knew they couldn't be together because of her being royalty, and Pewdiepie being, well, Pewdiepie.

One day, while King Ken was playing Cards Against Humanity with the valiant Knight CryaoticMonki, Mary was busy cosplaying as a sheep, and Jackie and Betty were deciding which chew toy of theirs was better, a mighty rumble suddenly shook the whole castle. Marzia, the only one paying attention to her surroundings, rushed to her window to see, to her horror, the Markiplier Moles! And they were heading right for her tower! Marzia screamed wildly, frantically waving her arms outside the window, and then running to her door, which sadly, as it is a wooden door (with draft and all that), it wouldn't budge. The Markiplier Moles surrounded the tower and lifted it off the ground, taking the whole thing with them.

"Help! Help!" she screamed. But it was too late; her tower was taken into the distance.

King Ken, suddenly noticing the tower shaped hole in his castle, called forth brave men and women to fight for the return of the daughter he didn't really care about. Many came from many different lands for this task, as the prizes, though different to gender (it's an unfair society they have there, ok?), were very pricey. For the women, they would receive 50,000 Simloans, and a private island of the coast of Takenike (it's a Blackadder reference, ok?). For the men: the Princess Marzia's hand in marriage.

The men and women from the land of Youtubular stepped forward; the Smosh knights, Tyler Oakley, Jenna Marbles (ok, maybe not Jenna Marbles). All were turned away.

The comedians from the land of TrendForOneWeek came: the Sneezing Pandas, the Keyboard Cat, the Grumpy Cat, the Nyan Cat; all were turned away.

Then, the reviewers from the land of ThatGuyWithTheGlasses arrived: the Nostalgia Critic, Lindsay Ellis, FilmBrain, Linkara, Spoony, and ToddInTheShadows. This time, all but one were turned away. The critic named Nostalgia Critic (no brainer!) appeased the Queen Mary, for when she recited a popular play, the critic screamed, and destroyed the script. The king told the Critic to go find Pewdiepie, and aquire his pugs for travel. Along with Nostalgia Critic, there was the valiant knight CryaoticMonki, the brave warrior Minx, the mage SeaNanners, and the wood elf InTheLittleWood (but no one cares about him). The Critic and his travelling companions arrived at Felix's home. But Felix was not very welcoming.

"Greetings young pug herder! I am The Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to, and I need to aquire your pugs as a means of travel to rescue the princess, for she has been kidnapped!" The Critic introduced himself.

"Yes, I know." said Felix, despondently. He walked away from them without giving the Critic an answer.

"Give me an answer, you stupid pug herder! I didn't come all this way to be screwed over by a Swede!"

The Nostalgia Critic and the Swede stared at each other, neither of them budging.

"You may have the pugs." said Felix, begrudgingly. "But I must ride with you. I saw where the Markiplier Moles went. To the leprechaun Jack's hideout!" Everyone gasped! The leprechaun Jack! He was the most dangerous leprechaun in the whole land. Many people feared to suddenly hear his catchprase: "Top o'the mornin' to ya!"

So, the group trekked on, and then accidently took a wrong turning, meaning they had to go through the Stephano Desert, which meant that the journey would take an extra day, something which really annoyed the Swedish pug herder. They stopped in the middle of the desert when daylight had left them, and set up camp. However, none of them had noticed that, during the journey, the Nostalgia Critic had been drinking Jack Daniel's whisky, and was now completely drunk. Sitting by the fire, without his inhibitions, he began to talk. A lot.

"You know," he began, "I'm not even really interested in the princess, but who doesn't want to be king? I mean, I was the leader of Kickassia once, I'm sure that I'll be an excellent leader of Maccaplocca." He received shocked and stern looks, particularly from Felix, who was feeding Maya and Edgar.

"What do you mean, you don't care about the princess?" the Swede asked, sternly.

"I'm saying that this quest is my only means to become king of this retched land. I'll most likely arrange for the princess to be…eh, chucked into a volcano on the north side of town. Whilst dressed like a banana. But to be honest, she'll probably look more attractive in a banana suit than how she looks now." No one else got to hear the rest of his complaints as, at the end of that, Felix had walked away from the pugs, and jumped on the Nostalgia Critic, punching him square on the nose. He continued to punch him till Minx managed to pull them apart. Nostalgia Critic then went to cry in the corner. With the brave knight Cryaotic "attempting" to consolt him (but Cry's very bad at that job, so Nostalgia Critic ended up sleeping on him, leaving Cry less than amused).

"Pewds, what the hell?" asked Minx, obviously shocked.

"I didn't like the way he was mean to Marzia." said Felix, still feeling anger inside himself.

"You mean, her royal highness?" Minx corrected him. Felix looked away, saddened. "Felix, what's the matter?" she asked.

"It's just that, well…" he began, but didn't really want to continue.

"Well, what?" Minx looked at him impatiently. She was not used to this vagueness, especially from, what she thought was, a simple pug herder.

"I love her, alright? That's the real reason I wanted to come along. I knew who took her, but King Ken hates me because Queen Mary hates me, because I beat her at a card game one time. I didn't offer to find her because I knew I would be turned down. The King is very heavily influenced by his Queen."

"Guys, I don't mean to interrupt your special heart-to-heart, but there is something over here that requires our attention." SeaNanners called the two over to him. He was standing by the courageous knight Cry, who couldn't get up from where he was because of the Critic laying on him unconscious.

"Help please!" Cry asked, in his monotone voice. Minx lifted up the Critic, and tied him to the back of Edgar, so that, as punishment by the whole group, the Critic would be pooped on by Edgar during the journey.

"You know, I once too had an unrequited love." said Martyn, but no one cares about him, so no one heard what he said.

At last, they reached the hideout of the dreaded leprechaun. The Critic was allowed to be untied so that he could fight, but instead, immediately hid behind Minx. Not one to shy away, Minx pulled him from behind her, and shoved him forward.

"Err, you there, foul fiend! Release the princess, or suffer the consequences!" The Critic shouted up his taunt. No reply was given. The Critic turned back to the rest of the group, but they're still mad at him, so they just stare him down, like a cat, or a goldfish, or…something?

"Come out with your hands up!" A groan could be heard from the group. Suddenly, a rumble shook the whole of the land, unexplained, mysterious, earth-shattering (literally)…then suddenly, PINK! Pink moustached moles burst from the ground, cracking it, and the cracks broke around where the Nostalgia Critic stood. Suddenly, the ground fell through, taking the Critic with it.

"I will always remember!" he shouted, as he fell into the centre of the earth. The group looked down the hole, then up at the Markiplier Moles. They growled at the group. Suddenly Edgar and Maya jumped over the hole, and ran through the door.

"Edgar! Deutschland!" Felix screamed, and ran past after his pugs. The rest of the group shrugged at each other, and ran past the moles. The moles, surprised by the lack of violence, chased after the group.

The pugs were practically at Usain Bolt speed (will that metaphor still be alive in a few years? Oh well), and it was hard for everyone to keep up. Suddenly, SeaNanners, the mage, stopped.

"What on earth are you doing now?" asked Minx, almost at the end of her tether. SeaNanners reached into his small pouch, (okay, more of a bum-bag, and btw, I'm British, so its American name is very weird to me. DIGRESSING!), and threw something on the ground. Once the moles became level with it, the moles started to scream in pain.

"Wha-what was that?" SeaNanners turned to face her.

"MINI-SHEARS!" The Markiplier Moles squirmed around, then Minx saw that they no longer had pink moustaches, therefore, they were now weak. Let's just say that Minx had never been happier than her time slicing and dicing moles.

"Edgar no!" They heard the screams of the Swede, and ran after it, leading them to the main hall of the hideout. It was paved with gold along the walls, and the floor, with thrones made out of the Lucky Charms marshmallows. Suspended from the ceiling, was a cage filled with the human known as…Princess Marzia!

"Marzia!"

"Felix! Are you alright? How did you find me?"

"The pugs!" They both looked down at Edgar sniffing Maya's butt.

"Aww, they look so cute!"

"Not as cute as you." Both of them gazed into each other's eyes. Meanwhile, the superfluous Cry, had stolen some flying powder from SeaNanners (because I think pixie dust is under the copyright that J. gave to Great Ormand Street Hospital (true fact btw)), flown up, and cut Marzia down. The cage smashed on the ground, freeing Marzia. Pewds helped her up, put his arm round her, and the group were about to run out of the hall, when suddenly…

"Top o' the mornin' to ya laddies!" Everyone froze. They slowly turned their heads to see the leprechaun, standing there, smiling at them maliciously. "Did ya really think that it would be that simple to come in here, and take my ticket to royalty?

"You know, returning her to the King will just let you have the throne."

"Nah, I was thinking more of ransom, a little bit of cash, you don't realise how annoying the moles were, I need to re-pave the floor, aaand murder! I LOVE MURDER!" Felix spread himself in front of Marzia.

"You will not hurt her!"

"Why do you even want to kill her?" SeaNanners asked.

"It's Sunday, taking over the world is something I like to do on Tuesdays, Guinness chugging on Thursday, and always BEING A BOSS!" Jack took off his hat, took out some SepticEyes, and threw them at the group. The eyes grew into monsters, ready to attack. Instead of battling the eyes, Felix ran at Jack, and attacked, just as the rest of the group were battling the eyes. Except for Martyn, who ran away, and hid behind a corner. Why? Because he knew that no one cared about him, and therefore, no one would notice if he died. Suddenly, a young woman appeared to him, gracefully walking over to him.

"Who are you?" Martyn asked. She smiled, and spoke, softly.

"I am the author of this story, the whole of this fictional world was created by me, a simple fan."

"Why aren't you telling me your name?"

"Because people would then know who I am. Although, most likely I would have shared this on Twitter by now, and would have mentioned everyone in the tweet. Shamelessly, I might add – to be honest, I really hate it when I tweet at people, as it just makes me look like I'm seeking attention, when I'm not that sort of person at all!"

"I can understand, but what are you actually doing here?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm helping out. Come with me." She reaches out her hand, which Martyn takes. They leave the hideout, and the story, together. (I will continue the story at the hideout, but I'm not saying what happens between me and Martyn-spoilers! (Plus, he doesn't know me, so that would be very awkward!))

Felix and Jack fought on the ground, throwing the punches that they learned from Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter, but Jack was just slightly better. The rest of the group were doing well. Marzia grabbed a katana, and sliced the eyes, Kill Bill style. Even Minx, already typecast as the female badass of the group, was very impressed with her. In addition, Felix and Sean (yes, I know I've referred to him as Jack, but his real name is Sean, and we're using real names in this descriptive part, ok?) stopped fighting to stare at Marzia.

"Hey, that's my girlfriend, you numpty!" Felix punched the leprechaun round the face, and they continued to fight, until they reached the balcony of the hideout. (Yes, I imagined the hideout like a castle-not exactly hiding, but then again, I'm the writer and you're not… na na, ne na na.) All the punching and kicking caused Jack to almost fall over, but instead, Jack kick-flipped Pewds, and hung him over the balcony. The group gathered round to see the commotion.

"Poods!" Marzia cried.

"Marzia!" Pewdiepie started to actually cry.

"I love you."

"I love you too Marzia."

Then, Marzia picked up Maya, and cried "Poods, close your eyes!" Sean turned his head, and looked into Maya's empty eye socket. No one else has ever seen what happens when you look into Maya's eye, and no one else will. But I can tell you, that as soon as everyone opened their eyes, all they saw was a pile of balls, which Edgar proceeded to eat.

"Err, guys? Little help here?" Everyone looked over the balcony to see Pewds barely holding on to the balcony. Everyone stretched out their arms, and helped up Felix up over.

"Let's give them some space." SeaNanners beckoned everyone back, with the strong knight Cry walking back begrudgingly. Felix and Marzia were all alone on this balcony.

"You know a weird reviewer was meant to come and rescue you." the Swede explained.

"Yeah, I know, I saw. Jack showed me a small screen to try and intimidate me. Honestly, I never once broke my spirit."

"Oh."

"I also saw you at the campfire. That was very sweet of you." They both smiled at each other, connecting, feeling like they were the only people in the world. Felix looked at Marzia, and got down on one knee.

"Marzia, you are the woman who saw through my exterior, and accepted me, even though I am not worthy. Will you…"

"Yes, Felix?"

"Run away to Brighton with me and the pugs where we live the rest of our days making YouTube videos?"

"Oh Felix, I thought you'd never ask!"

Felix got up, smiling wide for the first time in forever, and kissed the princess. That magical moment, to them, lasted for an eternity.

The End!


End file.
